Off the Grid at Barrier Mountain Outfitters

We had barely even pulled our trailer into our site at Barrier Mountain Outfitters when Dave joked that I already had a blog post. I had to laugh, because indeed I had been writing it in my head the entire time we’d been driving and trying to park the trailer. It was a weekend to remember. Our first completely off the grid and our first so filled with adventure and first-time experiences.

A friend of mine from work, Terri, has a permanent site at Barrier Mountain that she wasn’t using for a few weeks. She offered it to me and no sooner had she mentioned white water rafting and horseback riding, I was on the phone with Dave making changes to our schedule. Terri told me that it takes her and her husband Axel 1.5 hrs to drive there from SW Calgary. I thought, no prob, we’ll be there in an hour. We left on Friday and three hrs later, we pulled into the campsite. Yes, three hours. Along windy, narrow, gravel roads, driving west, into the setting sun. Because of the glare and the dust that easily kicked up every time a car whizzed by, we could barely see what was coming around each corner, so we took it at a snail’s pace, our eyes wide in terror as much larger trucks pulling massive fifth wheels zoomed past us or came at us, nearly forcing us off the road at times. They clearly knew their way. We climbed and descended crazy hills that had us wondering, at times, if we were pulling the trailer or if the trailer was actually pushing us. It was a white-knuckle drive and we were glad to finally arrive.

Once at the camp, we approached our site from the wrong side (Terri had even drawn me a diagram that I promptly forgot) and nearly took out an innocent tree trying to turn a corner. The next thing we knew, we had about 10 campers from all around us watching us as we started backing in. I didn’t intend to be the evening entertainment. Usually, I get on my cell phone and Dave gets on the Bluetooth in the truck, and I direct him into the spot. This is when I found out how off the grid we were – no cell phone signal to speak of. So backing in was very loud and animated, which is probably what drew the crowd. Thankfully, two of our neighbours stepped in and in their much louder voices, cigarettes dangling from their lips, they bellowed Dave into place. The very narrow parking spot at Terri’s site has a shed on one side and a deck on the other, about four inches of clearance on either side. It was Dave’s trickiest parking job yet. Dave brought our trailer in to the rousing cheers of our helpers and their families who had lined themselves along our site to watch. It was all very embarrassing. Brown girls don’t turn red very easily – and I was red as I turned to sheepishly thank them for helping us.

So after the drive and harrowing parking session, we settled in for the weekend. Slowly over the course of the evening, we discovered how remote we were: no cell phone coverage. No sewer services at our site. No problem, we’ll use the washrooms. The neighbour laughed when I called them “washrooms.” They were truly outhouses – I’m talking a hole in a board with flies buzzing and the echo of yesterday’s lunch as it hit the bottom. Max usually doesn’t care about these things, but he refused to use the outhouses again after hearing the sound of his poop hit the ground. No sinks with hot water and soap – no sinks at all. No garbage dump – we had to take our trash home with us. A note from Terri to NOT let the kids wander off by themselves and to PLEASE take the bear spray if we went on a hike. Apparently, two disgruntled teenage grizzlies whose mother had kicked them out when she had more babies made their home not too far from us. So truly, roughing it more than we ever had before. I knew it would be a challenge, but at least we were surrounded by incredible beauty. Barrier Mountain and others in the background, with dense trees, beautiful trails and clear blue skies, the Panther and Red Deer rivers bubbling softly (and not so softly at times) close by…we were camping in a really beautiful part of Alberta.

On Sunday, we went white water with a company called Mukwah Rafting Tours. They are known for their safety record, and are the only rafting company the Boy Scouts of Canada will use. Which is why I paid the non-refundable fee in full a week before we went up, despite my fear of the water and my aversion to taking risks in general. But I was so nervous the morning of the tour. I didn’t eat breakfast had to use the outhouse (another REAL outhouse) at Mukwah several times. After getting geared up, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just stood off by myself paying rapt attention to the safety instructions, getting angry at the ladies who were late and who delayed the start of the tour, glaring at them while they giggled and suited up while I stood there baking in a wet suit, wind breaker, life jacket and helmet in the hot morning sun. But I didn’t have to be so worried. The Mukwah guides were great. They understood my fear and hesitation and also taking into account the ages of our kids, they gave us the most experienced tour guide, Duncan, a kindred spirt from Ontario who was also trained in rescue. Duncan gave me the seat closest to him and chatted with me the entire way. His instructions were clear and you could tell he knew his way. It’s amazing how eight first-time rafters could manoeuver around a raging river so easily. It was all because of his skill and the respect (or fear?) he commanded from all of us. I had a great time. No, I did not lie down in the middle of the raft praying to make it through. Yes, I sat on the edge like I was instructed to, and yes, I paddled with everyone else when Duncan asked us to, digging in so deep, I used muscles I never knew existed. I felt fear only once, the very first time we hit a big rapid. I actually threw myself across the raft and grabbed a rope on the other side, thinking I was surely going to go overboard. When it was over as quickly as it started and I realized I hadn’t moved an inch, I quickly righted myself and checked to make sure no one had seen me make a fool of myself. By his sideways grin, I think Duncan had seen it all, but he didn’t let on. After that, we hit even bigger and longer rapids and I wasn’t worried one bit. Overall, it was a great experience, one that I’m glad to have faced. I will do it again!

On Monday, just before the long and treacherous drive home, Lorraine and Adrian, the owners of Barrier Mountain Outfitters and Terri’s cousins, took us out for a trail ride. I was nervous about this too. Let’s face it – I’m just not the outdoorsy, athletic, experience-loving type. It’s been years since I’d been on a horse, and the last time I had, I had made so much noise and stood on the wrong side of the horse I was riding, that he butted me (with his butt) onto my butt. But I had decided to do this for Kira. For the past two summers, she’s gone to horse riding camp at Camp Caroline, and she was excited to show her family her riding skills. I couldn’t say no.

Having met us a few days earlier, Lorraine picked horses for us that she thought would complement our personalities – and our anxieties. Max got Scout, the leader of the pack and the strongest and most experienced, who was comfortable enough in his own manhood (or horsehood?) that he didn’t mind being led around by Lorraine and her horse. Max wasn’t expected to hold the reigns or do any leading on his own. Kira rode Saint the Paint, a hot-headed little one with paint-like markings on his rear, who desperately wanted to be the leader. He kept trying to butt his way to the front, complaining loudly whenever Scout nudged him back into place. Watching Kira on Saint reassured us that our camp money was well spent – each time Saint walked off the trail, Kira guided him back quickly without any help from Lorraine. She knew exactly how to make him trot, stop, start and turn, and she did it so confidently. I was really impressed and proud! She knew what she was doing and was really assertive.

I rode Jasper, who Lorraine called the gentleman of the group. He loves women and treats them well – if a man rides him, he’s likely to buck them off. Jasper listened to me as I guided him around, and he very gallantly side stepped the trees so I wouldn’t get smacked in the face. While the kids had to push the branches away by themselves, I didn’t have to once. Jasper walked around them and all I had to do was sit there like a lady. Dave rode Rusty, the wildest of the pack. Not so wild that he took off or anything – all of the horses (all boys) were well behaved and trained – but Rusty kept lagging behind or stopping to eat and Dave kept having to catch up. Dave missed most of the trail conversation because of his naughty horse! 

One thing I did not know - when trail horses have to poop, they don’t discreetly duck into the bushes and poop in private. They just poop, on the trail, while still keeping in formation. Kira’s horse Saint must have had beans for lunch because he must have pooped half a dozen times on the trail. And I was riding right behind, so closely that I was sure I was going to get poop on my jeans or boots. It was a bit crazy. Each time I heard Saint toot a bit (can you imagine how a horse’s toot sounds?!?!), I slowed Jasper down in anticipation. Thank goodness Jasper was mannerly and listened. Or maybe he didn’t fancy getting Saint’s poop all over him either!

By the end of the trail ride (our knees were so sore we weren’t sure we’d be able to walk. Kira and Max had long since taken their feet out of the stirrups but Dave and I kept them in out of pride and maybe a little fear. I couldn’t even get off my horse because my legs were numb from the knee down. Lorraine led Jasper to this staircase thingy so I could gingerly step off instead of having to drop down. I wanted to yelp in pain but I held it in so as not to embarrass myself in front of the real cowboys. It took me a good five minutes of hobbling around bow-legged before I could even straighten up. Very painful, but Lorraine said it was normal for people who weren’t used to riding. Thank goodness, because it was embarrassing. However, it could have been worse. Thanks for the tip, Heather Fifield! ;P

All in all, we had an exciting weekend. Three hours on the (at times) raging Panther River and Red Deer River. One-and-a-half hours on handsome steeds that led us through some beautiful Alberta country. Both first time activities for almost all of us, one involving a fear of mine that I faced head on. I was proud of myself for not chickening out, proud of all of us for trying new things, and excited for all of us for having these opportunities. Two days after returning, Dave and I are still sore in places we are too shy to mention, but we’re happy and we’ll do it again.

 Dave's awesome parking job.

Our gorgeous surroundings.

 Kira making friends.

No-tech fun!

Our site. Very rustic.

Dinner tastes best when cooked outdoors.

He said he felt like Gandalf.

No-tech fun is awesome.

 Barrier Mountain.

All geared-up to go!

Me in my seat of safety near our guide.

Floating down the river.

We stopped at one point so people could go cliff jumping if they wanted.
Few people went, it looked pretty crazy.

Max riding Scout. He loved Scout so much he wanted to take him home.

Jasper the Gentleman and I.

Kira on Paint the Saint.